Category Archives: Blog

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Better Dad Than Darth Vader? Ask These 10 Dad Jokes

Dad’s don’t ask for much. On Mother’s Day, moms want breakfast in bed, flowers, chocolate, jewelry, a professional massage, and homemade gifts from every kid. Dads, on the other hand, just want confirmation that they aren’t messing things up. Here’s a little Father’s Day pre-game for you as told by the best/worst dad jokes:

 

10 Ways You’re a Better Dad Than Darth Vader

 

1. Family is your top priority

Luke had no idea Darth Vader was his father until he was well past his childhood. If your kids know who you are, give yourself a point.

2. You’re cool, even if your kids don’t know it

In the school pick up line. Windows rolled down. Singing at the top of your lungs. Has DV ever even cracked a smile?

3. You get the important things right

Did you forget to take pictures when your daughter left for Homecoming? Ok sure. But have you ever cut off your kid’s arm? If not, you’ve got daddy Darth beat.

4. Honesty is (sometimes) the best policy

Am I the only one who only learned my parents WEREN’T straight “A” students until I AFTER graduated college? Sometimes it’s ok to push them higher… at least you’re not pushing them to the dark side. *Bonus points if you use Santa threats year-round to discipline your kids.

5. You take pride in your troops

Even if they don’t obey your every command or defeat their opponents on the (soccer) field, you’re still just in awe that you MADE them. In contrast, Vader’s love is definitely conditional. Ten points to Gryffin-dad!

6. You’re a full-time cheerleader

Sometimes, you’ll defend your kid 100% to the point of getting kicked out of a little league game. Other times, you see a kid knock down a whole display of cans at the grocery store and think, “That poor kid’s parents…” Then you realize it’s yours. But you can’t really complain- he got it from you!

7. Your kids get fed

Ok maybe you just ordered a pizza, but that’s why they love when you’re in charge of dinner.

8. You buy the toy, even when your feet beg you not to

If you’re Batman, LEGOS are the Bane of your existence. Despite the fear of permanent nerve damage in the arches of your feet, you sacrifice for their creativity and development. One good lego building session might have changed the future for Luke and Leia.

9. You turn disaster into adventure

When the iPad dies and the charger is AWOL on a road trip across the country, dads know how to spontaneously create car games. Those memories end up being the best anyways. Which is why you forgot the charger on purpose. At least, that’s what you can tell your wife.

10. You blur the lines between embarrassing and hilarious

First off, you left your cousin’s wedding to get hamburgers for you and your starving kids. You also snored loudly during the principal’s endless speech at the PTA meeting. Oh, and you made a make-shift hair tie out of a candy bar wrapper for your daughter at field day. Plus, you put an eye pad and some rocks in an iPad box and gave it to your teen for Christmas.

Overall, you do both the unexpected and the cliche, and it works. And yes, this includes dad jokes.

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Written by: Marie Ferguson

Sources:

https://me.me/t/ella-vader?s=new

https://jdwaggoner.wordpress.com/tag/star-trek/

https://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/18-jokes-only-harry-potter-fans-will-find-funny?utm_term=.ojGAEJx0X#.jx15evX29

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3151159/Son+and+dad

http://www.aminoapps.com/page/lotr/9253931/the-9-best-lord-of-the-rings-memes

http://www.howtobeadad.com/2016/32620/dad-jokes-hall-of-shame-part-5

http://www.sonic1029.com/2016/06/19/finish-dad-joke/

https://twitter.com/adtechdadjokes

http://www.paltalk.com/blog/7-dad-jokes-your-technology-loving-father

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/meme-time/82975829/


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Which IT Superhero are You?

 

 

Even an IT superhero needs a sidekick sometimes.

Logical Front can help you keep your turf secure. So, contact us at security@logicalfront.com or call (801) 203-3141 for a free security assessment.


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Memorial Day Security Heroes

 

Happy Memorial Day!

 

This weekend we honor all those who gave their lives to defend the United States of America, and other defenseless victims around the world. Amongst the grilling and pool parties, let’s not forget the sacrifices that uphold our freedom.

While war still rages, the most threatening forces take a very different form than they used to. Now, the front line of battle is where cyber security meets hackers. The new enemies aim to shut down our systems, halting economic activity. Additionally, they steal unprecedented amounts of money by infiltrating corporate and personal accounts alike. They invade our privacy and abuse our personal information. What’s more, they lock us out of our own operations and demand ransoms for the key. And they do it all from the comfort of their couches.

Did you know that…

Cyber Security, Army IT 

Consequently, it’s no surprise that the U.S. president recently signed an executive order regarding federal cyber security. The order gives the Department of Homeland Security more power to regulate governmental networks.

Thankfully, IT security professionals don’t typically find their jobs fatal. However, they do donate their lives’ work to continuously strengthening cyber fortifications. They prevent the bondage of having someone else in control of our data, records, and systems. For that, they also deserve our appreciation this Memorial Day.

Thank you to everyone who defends our freedom, whatever front of the battle you fight.

 

Need backup? Contact Logical Front to help you find and use the right weapons.

Written by Marie Ferguson


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Mothers Day, Mother Day Blog, IT Infrastructure

Ode to my Mother(board)


Mother’s Day gifts are hard. What could possibly repay the woman that raised you?  Literally speaking, you would have to fork over $500-800k to reconcile your financial debt to mom. Now you know why your mom calls you “priceless.” But we all know the money was the smallest sacrifice your mom made. You started as morning sickness and never really got easier.

I guess all we can do is attempt to express what she’s worth to us, without simultaneously filling her shelves with trinkets she’ll feel too guilty to throw away. If you need some ideas, I’ve written a poem to a very important mother of mine — my motherboard. I know her importance is not lost on you. So, here it goes. Ahem…

 

Ode to my Mother(board)

 

Dear motherboard, you are central to our unit

You connected us all from the beginning

Had our activities in your peripherals so we couldn’t ruin it

When things got too heated you kept the fans spinning

 

When powered on you self test with barely enough time

To get me up and connect me to the bus

You dressed me for EEPROM, taught me to hard drive in the lines

You work and work without any fuss

 

I know I’m not a graphic card

Because I could never outgrow your power

On my own, being on time is hard

Your clock generator keeps me on the hour

 

Oh motherboard, you are the best of the best

You can do more than any mainboard can

Your features are superior thanks to your chipset

Your memory makes fatherboard say “DRAM!”

 

Seeing your heat sinks makes my heart sink

I want to be more like you

You’re patient, nonvolatile, and your logic makes me think

Dear motherboard, I love you

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and mother figures out there! Let’s give them the appreciation they deserve.

 

Treat your motherboard to a makeover — let us help you revamp your IT network. Contact Us

 

Written by Marie Ferguson


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Quadcopter F-181 Giveaway

Take to the Cloud Quadcopter Giveaway

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Ten years ago, when someone said the word “cloud,” the only thing that came to mind was the puffy white cotton balls of the sky. Nowadays, the idea of a cloud has gone from cumulus to electronic, and the notion has every CIO and IT director’s attention. With the promise of organizational transformation, the technology-oriented cloud has become an enterprise revolution.

To celebrate this shift in thinking, we want to help you explore the cloud in all facets. First, we can pilot you in your discovery of how a new hybrid cloud infrastructure can help you soar.  Equally as awesome, we’re giving away the ability to experience the sky. We’re sponsoring a quadcopter giveaway to give you the chance to take to the cloud in a whole new way!

 F181 Quadcopter Giveaway

Enter our Holy Stone F181 Quadcopter Giveaway and get a first hand look at the cloud!

  • Equipped with a key return & headless security system 
  • Altitude Hold Function
  • 360° 4-Ways Flip, One-key roll
  • Bonus battery for longer flight time. 
  • 720P HD camera

Sometimes an aerial view can give you a new perspective. If your organization has been thinking about shifting to the cloud, let us help you understand what it takes to prepare for successful cloud implementation. At Logical Front, we offer a free Cloud Readiness Assessment to help you know if you’re ready to head for the sky. Whether through sending an awesome quadcopter or assisting your organization in taking a look at hybrid cloud, we would love to help you take flight!

To enter the Quadcopter Giveaway, use the widget below.

Open to U.S. Residents only.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will run from May 1 to 12:00 am EST May 9th. Winner will be contacted by email and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen.


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Tech Easter Eggs

IT Easter Eggs and Where to Find Them

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Maybe it’s just me, but I usually got the short end of the stick when it came to Easter egg hunts. The only eggs I got to “find” were the ones my mom made no attempt to hide. Consequently, she would act as a human flare gun to simultaneously lure me to the goodies while warding off the predatory older kids looking for an easy kill.

Unfortunately, the number of Easter eggs I’ve collected over the last decade has rested at zero. I think it’s time to re-experience the joy of discovering something hidden. This time, instead of satisfying our sweet tooth, we’re going to revel in our not-so-hidden geeky enjoyment of tech. We’re going on a IT Easter egg hunt. And like mother like daughter, I’m going to make their locations painfully obvious.

Note: Easter eggs pop up and disappear everyday. The following tech Easter eggs were functional as of 4/12/17. 

 

Google

Google is the nest where tech birds go to lay their IT Easter eggs. The golden egg of Google is Chrome’s T-rex runner. Perhaps created to mitigate impatience, the dinosaur that appears when Google can’t connect to the internet becomes an effective distraction with a click of the space bar. You’ll forget all about your failed attempt at checking Facebook when you’re busy jumping over cacti and dodging pterodactyl.

 

IT Easter Eggs

Note the tile’s reflection of your image search

Google also plays games without ulterior motives. Ever have the burning desire to play tic tac toe but didn’t have an opponent? Ask Google to play by searching “tic tac toe.” You can also search Google images for “atari breakout.” Reminisce in the 70’s classic scrolling game, but beware the speedup! Who says you need to pay 99 cents to play games?

All games aside, Google’s Easter eggs can be pretty handy. If you happen to have lost the dice to Settlers of Catan because someone broke their five game winning streak and flipped the table (whoops), Google has your back.  Search “roll dice” for a randomly generated dice roll.

 

Need help making a decision? Google search “flip a coin.” There’s even a search for a “spinner” for more complicated choices of up to 20 options. That’s right, Google can settle the “what movie will we watch tonight” dispute to make up to 19 of your friends unhappy!

 

IT Easter Eggs

Payment required in the form of meat prior to boarding

On Google maps, cut down your travel time from Snowdon to Brecon Beacons in the UK by over 80% by taking a dragon. For Harry Potter fans, tour Fantastic Beast locations by searching “Fantastic Beasts, New York City.”

Explore Google’s sense of humor by searching “recursion.” You will be asked, “Did you mean recursion?” Check the definition to understand the sass. Repeat the 1. search, 2. see “did you mean,” and 3. check definition process with “anagram.” If you don’t like wordplay, you can ask Google the answer to life the universe and everything, what the loneliest number is, or to give you a fun fact.

 

 

Lastly, here are a few Google Easter eggs purely for your nerdy amusement:

  • Search for “zerg rush” and watch o’s rain down and destroy the search page.
  • Blink html” is a nod to coding that makes text on the search page, well, blink.
  • Ask Google to “do a barrel roll,”  but don’t say I didn’t tell you to bring a barf bag.
  • Use “www.google.com/?hl=xx-klingon to practice your Klingon.
  • Finally, my personal favorite, search “Google gravity” and click on the first link. Commence operation “Look Insane in Public” by tilting your laptop and watching gravity take hold of Google. It works on mobile, too, but be sure to lock your orientation. Warning: do not attempt with a desktop.                            

          

Siri

Siri IT Easter EggGoogle isn’t the only Silicon Valley Giant with IT Easter eggs. If you need a computer generated friend that actually talks back to you, Siri is your gal (unless you changed the voice settings to be a man, then he’s your guy). Aside from the useful responses, there are hundreds of teasing phrases that will provoke a snappy response from Siri. Try out my favorite six:

“What does the fox say?”

“Up up down down left right left right B A start”

“What is the best operating system?”

“I am your father.”

“Do you follow the three laws of robotics?”

“What is the best computer?”

 

 

Google Assistant

For Harry Potter fans on team Android, use the “OK Google” feature to cast spells on your phone. “Silencio” will put your phone on silent so you don’t wake up the sleeping troll in the girls’ room. “Lumos” will turn on your flashlight to use while you’re clearly up to no good (sneaking around the forbidden section of the library for instance). Finally, “Nox” will turn your phone off because if you really are a wizard, your phone is the last way you want to spend your time.

 

 Facebook Messenger           

Facebook IT Easter Egg

Channel your inner Lebron or Steph Curry

Facebook messenger can be used for more than just initiating scams and sending random videos to your friends. If you send a basketball emoji to a friend then click on the basketball, you’ll start a shoot off competition.

YouTube

We’ve all been stuck in a YouTube binge where the “up next” feature is more in control than we are. If you ever feel the need to reassert your authority, search “Use the Force, Luke” in the YouTube search bar. It allows you to do some pretty psychedelic manipulations to the page.

 

Microsoft Word

The next tech Easter egg is found in Microsoft Word. In any Word document you can type “=rand(x,y)” followed by the enter key and it will add a bunch of random words. The x represents the number of paragraphs you want, and the y is the number of sentences in each paragraph. It’s useful for college students who are too lazy to write their own essay fluff.

 

Mozilla Firefox

Who doesn’t love a good search engine feud? In fact, Mozilla Firefox is religious about their feud. In the Biblically reminiscent “Book of Mozilla,” Firefox tells the tale of their rise against Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. While keeping with the theme, they refer to themselves as the “beast,” their followers as the “legion”, and Internet Explorer as “mammon.” Read the six verses by searching “about:mozilla” on Firefox. If you’re looking for something a little less cryptic, find our last IT Easter egg by searching Firefox for “about:robots.”

Mozilla IT Easter Egg

Whether it’s a hidden gem or a subtle inside joke, the developers behind these tech Easter eggs sure mixed work with play. This is just a small sample of the IT Easter eggs that are out there. There are hidden surprises all over the internet and tech world. So that means you get to egg hunt year-around, and you don’t even have to fight off the other kids! Happy hunting, and happy Easter!

 

Written by Marie Ferguson


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